Forging Ahead

I decided a few months ago that I wanted to start this blog. I hesitated as my brain offered me all kinds of reasons that it was a bad idea, mostly in the form of questions. Who is my audience? WHO would want to read something I wrote? What would I write about that would be remotely interesting? WHEN would I find the time to write?

I knew the last one would be the biggest challenge, as the others are just doubts that are all in my mind. Even if not a single other soul read, or cared about, what I was writing, I could still write. Nobody else has to find value in my writing for me to do so. But time is a finite resource; I can't just conjure up more of it in a day than exists naturally. And with baby twins and an older child in online school, that resource gets used quickly. I knew it would be difficult to dedicate much (or any) of it to blog writing.

But I forged ahead.

I wanted to write an introduction, especially to document the twin-specific aspects of the pregnancy and delivery, and made a concerted effort to get through those first few posts so I could start documenting in real time. I didn't want to be perpetually behind in my writing. But even so, it has taken me the last few months to write those first few posts (Related: I am a slow writer, which helps my cause approximately zero), and my brain shows me this as evidence that indeed, finding time to blog is challenging and I should cut my losses and call it quits. 

But I forge ahead.

My brain tells me that I am already behind; that because the twins are now 6 months old, I have missed weeks and weeks worth of material that I could have been writing about. But those thoughts make me feel overwhelmed, which leads me to freeze up and want to write less. I do the same thing with the to-do list in my head; when I think, "Ahhhhhhh I have too much to do I don't know where to start and I can't possibly get it all done!" then my instinct is to do none of it. ...Brilliant strategy, no?

It may seem counterintuitive for me to delve into this topic in a blog post - spending time writing, of all things, about not having enough time to write. But this is my way of moving forward and keeping my momentum going. Momentum is powerful. This is me not giving in to the temptation to abandon this blog already because my twins are SIX WHOLE MONTHS OLD TODAY and I have just barely gotten to the part of the story when they began living outside of my body.

With momentum on my side, I forge ahead.