Okay, to be honest it didn't feel magical at the time, but it felt manageable. Pip and Squeak napped pretty well. We had a "flexible schedule" that allowed me to plan my day. They had established a consistent bedtime, with a dream feed and one night waking before about 7am. I kept the house picked up and the dishes done. I had a plan for using their 45min-1hr first nap that included prioritizing scripture study and breakfast so I knew I was starting the day off right - anything else was a bonus. (Usually I was able to empty and start filling the dishwasher during that time as well!) I wanted them to sleep better at night eventually, but was generally satisfied with where we were at the time - under the assumption, of course, that things would progress from there. We were doing SO much better than the newborn stage and I was feeling like a human again. I remember thinking something along the lines of, "Twins is a lot but look I'm doing it! I'm totally figuring out this twin mama thing! They say the first year is the hardest but after a rough first 3 months, we're actually doing pretty well! I've got this!"
I think that was my downfall.
At about 4.5 months, we hit the 4mo sleep regression. Squeak started it by rolling to his stomach, though he didn't actually want to be there and didn't know how to get back. This was infuriating to him. But he couldn't stop himself. No matter how many times we turned him back to his back, he immediately rolled back to his front and protested the injustice of the world.
Roll (him), flip (us), roll (him), cry (both?)
Over and over again.
As you can imagine, this made falling asleep difficult for him. It's hard to sleep when you're crying your face off. (He also started rubbing his nose raw by whipping his head back and forth facedown in the crib, which I thought was both sad and funny.) This went on for a couple weeks, at which point Pip joined in the fun - right about the time Squeak was figuring out that he didn't mind being on his stomach after all and sleeping that way was comfy. Pip went through his own journey with rolling, which overall was less frustrating to Pip than Squeak's was to him. Following that they both teethed, which bled right into social advancements that affected their sleep (see previous post re: "I love you so much!" means "Don't ever leave me or even put me down!").
"I got this" was no longer my mantra. If one napped, the other one screamed. Later in the day they would trade places. Sometimes they both decided naps were for suckers and then all three of us would be crying. Our "flexible schedule" was a thing of the past, and night wakings were a game of roulette. To be honest, I'd rather gamble my money than my sleep, but the babies weren't interested in my offers of cold hard cash in exchange for more than 1-3 hours of sleep at a time. Which is too bad. I can't sell to an uninterested buyer, so I was left with all my money and not enough shut-eye.
One night, Squeak shrieked to himself for an hour - not crying, just...loud. I'm pretty sure he was saying, "HEY! GUYS! Did you know sleeping is a trap? Don't worry, I've figured out how to keep myself awake. I just use my voice - DID YOU KNOW I HAVE A VOICE? IT'S SO COOL - and it helps you too, saving you from the trap that is sleeping. You are welcome!"
Here's a sample of one of our nights (this is not representative of every night, but 2-3 nights a week):
Down at 6:45pm
Pip scream at 8:30pm (feed both and Tylenol for Pip)
Pip cry at 10pm (rock back to sleep)
Both cry at midnight (feed)
Pip scream at 1:45am and wake up Squeak (rock both)
Both cry at 3:45am (feed)
One fuss at 5:30am (fell back asleep on own)
Several weeks after our good sleep routine fell apart, we were still struggling. And suddenly that "manageable" 4 weeks looked "magical." Funny how that happens.
Throughout of all this, the babies have gotten cuter and cuter. We have fallen more and more in love with them, if that's possible. They've become increasingly entertained by our antics, and we keep learning new ways to make them laugh. We have watched with delight as they've become more aware of each other (yes, even at naptime when they are happily squealing at the other's existence instead of sleeping, my heart melts and I can't be upset). We praise them for new skills, and watch with anticipation to see if/when/how they will do things the same or differently. We marvel at the speed of their growth (though the days are long, the months are short).
In short, we love them. Like, a whole lot. And (for now at least!), we'll keep them. 😊
